Corporal here again, mainly because our author is too blasted to be bothered to come to the keyboard. And alas, me the ever present wingman has decided to help him out.
So, you ask, why is the bassist in a straight-edge band so smashed that most of our teenage celebutwats would have to back down from the table? Well, I am touched that you care, I'll tell you.
It starts about 6:37 where I get an alarm clock whipped at my face by our loyal hero, I of course, ask him why the fuck he would to that, to which I get the reply,
"Because you slept with her!!"
Me, not knowing who the fuck 'her' is, decided to go with it, "Shit, yeah I did, that was some freaky shit." A women's size 5 combat boot just barely grazes my junk, "What the fuck man!!! All i did was pork 'er in the butt!"
"Oh, that's ok. So, where'd ya leave her?"
"Well, I took her back to the farm outside town where you got her," which prompts another kick, this one missing as I step back.
"So, do you even know what I'm fucking talkin' about?
"Nope," I utter as I am already pulling the blankets over me again.
"Ok, whatever then, lets go find some thing to do," your lovely author told me, obviously not letting me go back to sleep.
About 10 minutes later, because that is all it takes for a real man to get showered dressed and eat, we are milling around the town harassing our fellow locals, and hitting on every barely attractive female to cross our paths, when that saddest occurrence in our friend's life happened.
Yeah, im too fucking lazy to finish this.
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