Skateboredom and Gingers on Poles: The Two Uses for Duct Tape

The day was yesterday and the place was the back of the Hartman Union Building, better known to all as the 'Hub.' I stood there, staring at the greatest thing I had seen all year; a square cardboard box, big enough to fit a human being inside. My thoughts went as follows.

Oh shit, thats a box
I need it, like right now
Oh god I need this god damned box

I either can not or will not tell you why I thought this, but either way, you all know that you would have thought the same god damned thing if you were five years old; after all, what is a college freshman if not a big five year old? So, I proceeded to lift the empty box over my head and carry it from the center of campus all the way to the other end, enduring the stares with a proud grin. It didn't matter that people laughed or whispered, I had something that they didn't; a box. Getting it through the doors was tricky, due to its size. I had to open each door all the way and run through with the box perfectly straight, or else it would bang against the edges and dent a little bit. The elevator was the most fun part, especially since I was sharing it with two other people. Due to the amount of people and lack of room, I was given no choice but to open the box and stand inside it. Outside, I was a legal adult standing in a box in an elevator like a moron. On the inside, however, I was a pirate in a ship that floated up into the clouds. I stopped being a pirate at the fourth floor and decided to walk the last flight of stairs with the box over my head, tripping and banging into walls, laughing all the way. From there it was more intense navigation through three more doors just to get it into my room, and a clever balancing act to keep it there with enough free space to move. The box would stay there for over five hours until night time, when I would grow bored with it. I took it downstairs in the stairs, once again with it over my head. Oh what people must have thought of me; laughing my ass off, box over my head and banging into walls, and getting stuck on the railing at least six times over the course of five floors.


To be continued tomorrow, I need some sleep