Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Pros and Cons of working in the Cemetery

Pro:
Running a Riding Mower for the first time, which runs like the large, violent and retarded cousin of the Segway

Con:
SURROUNDED. BY. DEAD. PEOPLE.

Pro:
Relaxing atmosphere, beautiful marble and granite sculptures all around

Con:
Beautiful marble and granite sculptures mark DEAD PEOPLE, who have the SAME LAST NAMES AS MY FRIENDS.

Pro:
Good exercise using the weed whacker, and the riding mower is very relaxing

Con:
Forgetting your sunscreen, so not only do you burn, a cloud of mosquitoes swarms your face.
Also
DEAD PEOPLE ALL AROUND!!! GOD DAMNIT DEAD PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!!!

Result:
I signed up to work in the parks, not the cemetery, and I made that choice for a very good reason. Next week I'll be posting a new fictional short story based on what the readers vote for. Leave a comment and tell me what you want to see. My ideas are a new Zap Warner story, the first installment of Django, the Thief, and my story version of Portal. Feel free to pitch your own idea and I'll pick before next Tuesday

3 comments:

  1. How about the incredibly far-fetched adventures, discoveries, and tribulations of the North Korean Death Squads?

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  2. How about a series of interviews or conversations with your new 'co-workers'? -The inanimate ones engaged in subterranean slumber? You could talk with the Civil War soldier, the bank president, and the hot, teenage chick who died of the 1918 influenza epidemic...

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  3. I think you should write something that does what would happen if you did work at a cemeraty. Think about that could go anywhere.
    Anyways I finally got back to reading your blog, and I must say I am impressed. I think you should look into working on short stories because this stuff could one day be sitting on a bookself in the store.

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