Seriously, fuckin' with the Corporal?

Well, today shaped up to be interesting. As my father and I were coming back from dropping my girlfriend off at home, we took Pine St. back, which happens to be the street on which my employer is located (as my only regular reader knows). As we drove by the front entrance of where I work, a seemingly homeless, or at least just really stupid man decides to just stand there in the middle of the street. We quite obviously stopped, and then he walks besides the car and yells at us that there is such a thing as a crosswalk. I was actually surprised he knew this since he was ten feet away from standing on it as he crossed the street. We were not ones to let this fly so we yell back at him the usual obscenities and thought that would be that. 

This man though, was not content to let his idiocy stop there. Our unnamed incarnation of douchebaggery decided to walk back up to the car and continue is ranting and raving. My dad decided to get out of the car and I did as well as a precautionary measure. The guy constantly yells in my dad's face, and my dad laughs him off and insults him, never one to not have fun I joined in and made fun of the man. His response is to try and get in my face, mind you I have maybe 150 pounds on this guy and am about a good foot taller too. Our friend here didn't think that was anything of consequence though, and repeatedly used the only insults he had (I'm fat, I have a Hawaiian shirt on so I must be Don Ho, and apparently I am smaller than him). I can only take a person yelling in my face for so long, and he cleverly points out that I am starting to shake. My retort to this mind-expanding information is "Yes, I am shaking, because I am trying to resist killing you where you stand." It was then his turn to try and laugh, well until I move even closer, look him in the eye and say, "I'm not fucking around, you won't leave here". At this, my dad tells me to get in the car and I do, leaving the man there to know that he left with his life this time.

Now, you may be asking, why didn't I lay him out there and then? Well, I work in a public building, and he looks like the type who may frequent it often, so why not wait until another day where I can kick his sorry ass for 7.52 an hour? That, and the odd conversation that would follow tomorrow...

"Hi, what did you do this weekend?"

"Well you see the blood stains out on the curb outside?"

"Yes?"

"There you go."

Also, and not very surprisingly, most of my coworkers would not be surprised by this.